Always with me
by NikaDex
Summary: Sam needs some family while at Stanford. And of course Dean is not too far away.


**Hello my friends! I'm back again, after a looong time, and this time with a Supernatural one shot! I hope y'all like it! Huge thanks to Xenascully! What would I do without you? And thaaanks for reviewing ;) **

01.10.2004, Stanford

Sam was sitting on a wooden bench, was watching the campfire that he and his college friends put on hours ago. He dropped his gaze onto the ice-cold beer bottle that was freezing his hands on this cool day in autumn.

He didn't even know why he had the beer, anyway. He hadn't taken one sip, and he didn't intend to do so. He raised his eyes to the other students who were chatting to each other, most of them obviously drunk. But they were happy. Not that Sam wasn't. He had his beautiful girlfriend, a place at his favoured University, and a bunch of good friends. Though he missed something. His family.

Sam was always sure that he didn't need them. This time he got away from hunting, he was finally able to do what _he_ actually wanted; not what his dad wanted. But still…he missed his family.

Most importantly, Dean. Dean was more of a dad for him than his father would ever be able to be . He was always looking out for him. Since he was a baby, Dean did everything possible to take care of him and keep him safe. He could always rely on him. But now they were apart; Sam left, and Dean stayed with their dad.

_Would Dean mind if I call him? Just to say hi; hear his voice again. He wouldn't mind, would he?_

Yes, he'd call Dean.

Sam got up from the bench and made his way back to his flat. He was glad Jess was at her parent's house for another couple of days so he didn't have to explain why he took off so early.

Arriving home, he slumped down onto his neatly made bed and looked on his mobile phone.

_Should I call him?_

He waited another couple of minutes until he determinedly pressed speed dial 1 on his phone.

"Sammy?" Dean answered right away, letting the phone ring only once. Sam smiled, Dean was one of the only people he sometimes let call him Sammy. For everybody else, it was Sam! "Hey, Sam, everything okay?"

Dean sounded a bit concerned now because he didn't get an answer.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay, I just…ah..I was wondering…" Sam stammered and made a little pause.

"Sam?"

"Well, I'm just wondering…we haven't seen each other for ages. Are you around? Maybe come by for a beer or something?"

There was silence

_Oh no, no, no, no, he doesn't want to!_ _I knew it was a mistake to call him. _Sam thought before saying: "But hey, if you're miles away, busy or don't want to, that's fine...no problem at all, I just…"

"Sammy, calm down. Of course I'll come."

Sam couldn't help but smile and let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

"I'll be there tomorrow morning."

"That's, that's great. So, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yep. I'll talk to ya later!"

When Dean hung up, Sam stared at the phone in his hand, the smile still plastered on his face.

SÜPERNATURAL SÜPERNATURAL SÜPERNATURAL SÜPERNATURAL

Next morning, 0700h.

Sam was awake long before his alarm clock went off. He was more than excited to see his brother again after such a long time.

He was standing in the kitchen, sipping on his coffee, when he heard the door bell ring. He put the cup down and raced to the door. After opening the door, he saw his older brother in his worn leather jacket grinning at him.

"Hey there, Sammy."

Before he knew what was happening, Sam pulled Dean into a hug. First, Dean looked surprised, but returned the hug soon after. After letting go, Sam let Dean in.

"So, what's wrong, Sam?" Dean said, sitting down on the couch in the living room. Sam sat next to him and frowned.

"What do you mean?"

Dean sighed.

"You know what I mean. You wanted me to come here, and well you don't usually call and order me over."

Sam shifted uncomfortably on the couch and looked nervously onto his hands.

"Well.." he began, "I guess I just needed someone familiar around; some family you know. I know I've got loads of friends here, and I love studying…I've got Jess.." he raised his eyes to Dean, who was watching him, silently listening. "My life is pretty good, but still, even I need family. I guess I miss you. A lot…"

Before Dean could say something, Sam continued.

"You know Dean, I..I think I'm not sure if I really want to live like this. I love my life now, but still miss you and our old lives. And I also know that leaving you, first of all _how_ I left, was wrong. But…I'm confused Dean…I just feel so lost sometimes."

Sam had his eyes glued to his hands in his lap, fearing Dean's reply. He probably thinks Sam is a wimp for calling him and admitting he needs _family…_without waiting for Dean's answer he continued straightaway. Still not looking at Dean.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I know I shouldn't be that soft and crying like a baby…but I..I just miss you okay? I miss our old lives, I..I can't…I…"

Sam couldn't continue. He broke down, breaking heavily, desperate to take in some air. He felt his body going limp and tears streaming down his face, but before he could fall on the floor, strong arms grabbed him by his shoulders.

SÜPERNATURAL SÜPERNATURAL SÜPERNATURAL SÜPERNATURAL

Dean held Sam up so he wouldn't fall face first into the glass table in front of him. He saw his brother's tear-streaked face and pulled him in close, trying to calm Sam's breathing.

"Shh, Sam, you gotta calm down. Breath with me, okay?"

Dean pulled Sam's face up to his chest so Sam could listen to his steady breathing. As soon as Sam's face felt the rising of Dean's chest, he fisted his hand into Dean's shirt and let the tears fall, knowing that Dean would keep him safe, like he always did.

Dean noticed that Sam cried even harder, feeling Sam's fists tangling in his shirt. His breathing though, didn't seem to settle down. He ran his fingers through Sam's big mob of hair and spoke soft things into his ear to calm him down.

They stayed like that until Sam's breathing was steady and his crying stopped and he only sniffled a bit.

As soon as realisation hit Sam, he tried to pull away, feeling his cheeks burning with heat of embarrassment. But Dean wouldn't let him.

"C'mon Sam, just stay here for a bit. I don't want you to have another breakdown because you think I think you're a wimp for this."

Sam buried his face into Dean's shirt with a smile.

_Dean always knows everything about me._

"Ahm, Sam, you don't expect anybody else to come by, right? Because if other people see us, this might look a bit gay."

Sam expected Dean to move, but he didn't. He stayed like he was, and for Sam, it was the most comfortable thing he'd had in a long time.

"No, nobody's coming."

Dean could barely understand Sam, with his face still hidden in Dean's shirt.

"Right, that's good for a start. Now we're talking about this."

As soon as Dean said those words he could feel Sam stiffen in his arms. But he tightened his grip, to show Sam that it was okay.

"Sam, you do realise that you just could've called like months ago? I would've come around and hung out with you, spent some time together. I didn't like your decision, taking off like that. But that is what you wanted to do, and by the looks of it, you're pretty good at it. But that doesn't mean we can't spend time together."

"I'm sorry…I know I should've called earlier, but I was kinda scared that you would've…"

"What, Sam? That I didn't want to see you? Why? Why wouldn't I want to see my little brother? Huh?"

Sam didn't know what to say. What could he say? Yes? Yes, he was scared?

"Don't you ever think that, okay? I would never ever reject you. You're my pain in the ass little brother, right? You know that right?"

Sam still didn't move, but replied, "Yeah, I know that. I am so sorry, Dean. I promise, I'll call more often."

"Yeah, well I hope so! Because if not, I will kick your ass."

Dean and Sam stayed a bit longer like that. But then, Dean moved a bit. "Right, Sammy, you gotta move, because even though you're still my little brother, you're quite heavy."

Sam snorted but got up, sitting back on the couch, looking at his brother.

"Thanks, Dean."

Dean, didn't say anything. He just smiled and clapped Sam on his knee, and got up to go to the kitchen.

"Right, Sammy, got anything to eat? Been driving for hours. Im starving!"

Sam smiled and shook his head.

_Some things never change._

**Thanks for reading! **


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